Having Boundaries has nothing to do with being rigid.
I am probably way more boundaried than your average person but I am also VERY flexible.
I generally do not have rules about what I will or will not do, instead I have created a container where I get to say yes when I feel like it and track what doesn’t feel good on a case-by-case basis.
Examples of my boundaries are:
…holding myself accountable for verbalizing my needs.
…being kind to myself and others (with clarity, consent, and sweetness).
…knowing when I’m too tired to do something and what the trade off will be if I do it anyway.
…trying not to repeat bad experiences.
…excusing myself when I’ve reached my limit.
…sharing ahead of time if I want to give something a try but know that I may not be able to do all of it.
…doing a lot of what feels good when I can so that I don’t have cravings or time for things that don’t feel good.
…making space for exceptional moments of joy, celebration, and suffering—not everyone would spontaneously hop out of bed and into a session with a client at 5:30am or have a DM conversation in the tub before bed.
But as I’ve said before, I build my life in a way that allows me to occasionally paint outside the lines when I feel called.
I give my body a lot of space and rest so my soul can show up in extraordinary ways.
How does this perspective align with or challenge your approach to boundaries? Where can you flex a little and where do you need to firm up?
If you could use a quick refresh or pep talk on boundaries, your boundary Queen is here to serve.
See you soon, loves 💕