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Writer's pictureVeronica Puryear

The Masks We Wear and How They Block Our Pleasure

WELL IF IT ISN’T MR. COOL GIRL


Working on my Unlocking Pleasure workshop has me thinking about the masks we all wear…


And how it’s those masks that get in the way of intimacy and better sex.


Like a lot of people, I learned at a young age that I was the only person I could really count on.


That might sound dramatic to you and maybe you assume you can’t relate because you had most everything you needed growing up.


But could you share your feelings? Not just the big ones that tend to bubble up whether we like it or not…


Could you share your passing anxieties….joys…hopes?


And when you did have the bigger feelings were you told to stop?


Did you have friends who wanted to play with you or were you maybe like me and moved around a lot.


We maybe all landed here a different way but a lot of us make it to adulthood with some pretty deep subconscious beliefs that our feelings are too much, our voices too loud, our friendship not enough, our bodies imperfect.


So you hide. You build a personality around defense mechanisms. You cover your mouth when you laugh.


And in relationships you do your best not to show your flaws (until your efforts unravel or things leak out on their own).


During sex you keep the lights off and try not to sound too weird.


And you get what you put in. And it’s fine, but is it ecstasy? Is it enduring love? Is it enriching friendship?


Or are you just barely scratching the surface of pleasure and intimacy?


This is what a lot of my sessions end up being about. Reprogramming self worth. Me coaxing you out of your shell. You feeling a little nervous in a good way and feeling more seen than ever.


And my Unlocking Pleasure workshop also captures many of these feelings but in a hyper condensed way focused mostly on embodiment which means instant integration that you can practice as many times as you want in the comfort of you own home.

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