People lie, hide things, and panic to save relationships.
This is not a pro-lying post, and I’m certainly not defending anyone who is consistently dishonest or abusive.
But in the course of life most people fuck up.
People lie and do a lot of unhelpful and even dumb things when they’re scared or lost.
And it hurts! It’s disorienting, disappointing, and feels really unsafe.
A violation of trust can trigger some really deep stuff for us and cause us to spiral into self-doubt and worst-case scenario thinking like fear of abandonment or a sense of feeling foolish or unlovable.
You get to acknowledge those feelings and all of your disappointment.
But you don’t have to commit to a story about what it means about your worth or their feelings for you.
To be clear, I don’t condone lying or cheating, but it’s important to unpack the fear of this very human behavior that is likely to happen (hopefully in a small and manageable degree) in many—if not all relationships.
It’s also important to practice separating your feelings of self worth from someone else’s behavior.
I love helping people process their disappointment and fear and empowering them to challenge their worst stories about themselves and their relationships.
(I also love it when people find the courage to end relationships that no longer work for them if that’s the case! Congratulations!)
My number one agenda is always helping you to feel more secure with yourself whether that’s on your own or in your relationships.