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Writer's pictureVeronica Puryear

Nobody is "Awakened" "Conscious" "Secure" all of the time

“…looking for a Conscious Man…” ….”when you find an Awakened Woman…”


Do phrases like this trigger the f*ck out of anybody else?

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I understand why teachers use polarizing terms like this but I’m not sure they’re always received in the nuance and open-hearted curiosity they deserve.

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Labels create such a slippery slope that begin with a helpful framework and can quickly devolve into perfectionism and black or white thinking.

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I’m mostly securely attached when I’m floating through the world unbothered and untouched or when I’m dating someone who is super clear and matches my energy.

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Then what happens when someone comes at me with eager, persistent friendship? Avoidant.

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How about when I don’t know where I stand with someone and am glancing at my phone every few seconds with a sweaty brow? Anxious (or maybe just having a rational response to dating someone who sucks—mixed bag).

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And emotional availability, what’s that? You meditate hard enough and poof you’re EmOtIoNaLly AvAiLaBlE, Baby.

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Am I being a pain in the ass about this? Maybe.

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I just want you to focus more on behaviors and the feelings you seek, and less on labeling yourself and others. Especially if it is your goal to create intimacy and bring people closer.

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xoxoxox

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