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Men Deserve Tenderness, Consent, and Boundaries Too

Updated: May 15, 2022

Do you know how to seduce a man?

How to let it take all day?

How to build a connection?

To ask for permission to take the friendly banter into something more and be sure they’re in a good:






Or are you under the illusion that men don’t need a deliberate approach?

They do. You do.

And you deserve it.

Men are often confused when I ask for consent before crossing into new territory, before sending a nude, before touching them in a sexual way.

They’re also often thrown off by how often I say thank you and show appreciation for things they feel they’re obligated to do as men.

But I can tell you that every man I’ve ever dated has at some point shut down, hesitated, had an outburst…because they did something they weren’t ready for or regret.

It may not be obvious that that is where the feelings are coming from, but I’m telling you it is absolutely a thing.

I’m not suggesting that any of us are individually responsible for the hormones and social conditioning that get us there, it’s not my job to manage that.

But I can and DO manage me.

The pressure that men feel to always be on, to be instantly aroused, to always say yes….

Is not fair.

So I ALWAYS ask. And it’s also ALWAYS sexy when I do it. And I’m also ALWAYS ready to hear no or at least try to read the room before asking.

I have not always been a pro at this and you don’t have to be either. You just have to start thinking more about the underlying humanity in yourself and your partners and speak to that tender spot in all of us that most definitely needs care whether we know it or not.

My loves, if this resonates give me a shout. I love to feel your feedback and see you celebrating these conversations.

And men, if it feels nourishing and a little edgy to read something like this and you want more, please check out

Kisses, sweetpeas xoxox

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