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Writer's pictureVeronica Puryear

No, you’re not a People Pleaser

I can’t take another social media post about people pleasing.


Why?


First, why does everything need an official-ish sounding and degrading label? Can we calm all the way the hell down?


The 1990s called and they’d like to apologize for all of the phrases.


OK, glad I got that off of my glistening and hairy chest. (Please, no questions.)


Second!


I love that you love to please people. Good for you, you precious little peach. Be you! Live out loud! 🍑 📢


Third. What I really want is for you to feel the difference in your system of what it feels like to give from a grounded and confident place rather than from a place of trying to ingratiate yourself, cover up anxiety, or create a sneaky-freaky-obligatory-resentment loop where everyone gets to be vewwy disappointed.


(Side note: if being vewwy disappointed is what does it for you, may I recommend adding leather and a Rihanna soundtrack?)


Rather than adding a label onto the heap of existing self consciousness, I want to help all of us, myself included, heal from the kinky shadow of giving to get or being sweet to protect ourselves.


Picture this: you’re still the generous, giving, overachieving, back breaking, dynamo of a friend, lover, and confidante….your hair blowing in the wind….you arrived here on a motorcycle probably.


And instead of getting next to no reaction from your intimates or the equivalent of a limp trumpet sound, you’re getting deep gazes of appreciation and maybe even some growling, giggling, and lusty whimpers because your people can feel your gifts and not your guilt.


Yum.


You don’t have to blow up your life to get there. You don’t have to overcorrect and stop being nice. You just have to decide to own it.


And if you want to know more about what ‘it’ is. Come see me for a session and then come back for more so you can practice your cute little peach off.

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