“Do you want to throw a tantrum?” My intuitive coach asked me today as I was welling up with frustration.
I was trying to breathe and reason my way through a feeling.
When I described it to her I said it reminded me of the internal tantrums I would have as a little girl. When I would shut down and implode as my way of expressing my ‘no’.
(Pause to think of the little baby scorpio moon who could not be forced to do anything)
And so she asked me, “do you WANT to throw a tantrum?”
And I said yes, I believe I do.
Not only is it counterproductive to try and soothe certain feelings—I don’t know about you, for me, sometimes that just makes the frustration bigger—but it’s actually unhelpful in the bigger nervous system picture.
Regulating the nervous system is about more than just being calm, it’s also about activation, what you do with it, and how you train your body to respond to fluctuations in your experience.
After years (a lifetime) of forcing myself to be calm to be accepted, loved, not rock the boat in relationships, and even to try and manage outbreaks, I’ve been trying to follow the urge to activate by dancing, speaking my feelings, and yes occasional tantrums.
Thank you Chelsea, for the reminder.