If you grew up managing a parent’s mood or behaviors (or were raised by someone with that trauma)…
You might have learned that:
👎it’s your job to *fix* everything
👎minor inconveniences can become huge blowups
👎if you’re not perfect people might leave
👎your worth is tied up in what you *do* for people
👎it’s not safe to relax or ask for support
Y’all know I hate labels, but this realization was a big turning point toward healthier relationships for me.
And These Are Just Some of the Things I Didn't Realize Were Codependent:
#1 Trying to Do Other People's Work For Them
#2 Walking on Eggshells
#3 Jumping Into Problem Solving
#4 Never Letting Anyone See Me Sweat or Make Mistakes
#5 Not Trusting That I'm Enough and Don't Need to Perform or Be Perfect
I didn’t trust things to be OK unless I managed every detail of my partner’s experience.
I didn’t trust my partners. And they could feel it.
It takes practice, and I’m still working on it, but I’m not rescuing people anymore.
I’m pausing before rushing to fix things for people.
I’m taking a breath when I anticipate someone getting upset at a small thing.
I’m learning that I can trust people and situations to be OK without my immediate intervention.
Wanna Know More About Healing Codependency?